A Bumpy Path

My baby is 2 years old. Well he's been 2 for two weeks now.

This is the first moment that I've really been able to sit down and reflect on the past year. Those of you that know us and what we have gone though know that the path hasn't always been smooth. Matter of fact we hit a few large pot holes.

It all started before his 1st Birthday, I knew that there was something a little "off" with our son. He wasn't crawling and didn't seem like he knew his surroundings. He didn't turn his head to noises and what few words he would say "MaaaMaaa" "DaaaaaDa" and "Hi" seemed to be lost somewhere. He no longer would wave bye bye, that too lost. Than at his first birthday party I was happy and saddened at the same time. I was overjoyed that we made it a year with no ER trips, no major illness, and all in all that I had an easy baby. The sadness came from seeing my best friend's baby boy who is 3 months younger than my son crawling and eating table food. Where as my little man was still having a hard time sitting up and eating baby food. I know that to compare your child to others is not right but there comes a time when you need to wake up and see the truth. I knew at his one year check up I needed to put my foot down and demand to be heard. I was heard but was told to wait till he was 18 months and that he was just a little behind. I waited and in that time my son started to crawl at 14 1/2 months but still no words crossed my son's lips. At his 18 month check up I was now worried that my son's crawl just wasn't right. All his weight was shifted to one side of his body as he pulled himself along and still no words found. That's the first time we heard that it could be the "A" word. Now at this point we are referred to Dr. Cammeron and Early On Intervention. After many hours of blood test, MRI's, hearing tests, meetings with the C.H.I.P.S program, and many more doctors appointments we have answers. On Jan 26th 2010 a day I'll never forget we were told our little angel has Autism. On top of that we were just told March 17th 2010 that our son also has Cerebral Palsy.

When I first heard each label my son was given I'll admit I was washed over with so many feelings, scared, mad, sad, but most of all hopeful. For now I see that my son is now walking and dancing around. There maybe no words yet but there is always hope for next year.

Poem

HEAVENS VERY SPECIAL CHILD A meeting was held, quite far from Earth!
It's time again, for another birth.
Said the Angels, to the Lord above,
This special child will need much love.
His progress may be very slow,
Accomplishments he may not show.
And he'll require extra care
From the folks he meets down there.
He may not run or laugh or play,
His thoughts may seem, quite far away,
In many ways he won't adapt,
And he'll be known as handicapped.
So let's be careful where he's sent,
We want his life to be content.
Please Lord, find the parents who
Will do a special job for you.
They will not realize right away
The leading role they're asked to play,
But with this child sent from above
Comes stronger faith and richer love.
And soon they'll know the privilege given
In caring for their gift from Heaven.
Their precious charge, so meek and mild,
Is HEAVEN'S VERY SPECIAL CHILD.
by Edna Massionilla


I love this poem and I hope she doesn't mind that I borrowed it.

Your kidding me right.......?

There Dylan and I where waiting for his turn in therapy. There was another mother in the waiting room as well. We were making small talk to pass the time. When all of a sudden there was what felt like a slap across my face. She is a hushed tone asked "Do you ever wish your child was normal?" It took me a moment to respond because I didn't want to lash out what I want to say. Running through my head was things like " How dare you think that way" "What kind of a mother are you to wonder that" " Are you crazy" "Are you kidding me" and other things like that. Instead I though a moment and responded "No, there are moments I wish that were different. There are times I wish we didn't need to go through. But would I change my son, no. It is what makes him, him and I love him for that. That what makes Dylan, my Dylan."

Before we had time to talk more her little smiley son a little older than Dylan burst through the doors and ran to her. She looked at him and smiled.

"Are you ready Dylan" It's our turn to go back into the therapy room.

As Dylan's therapist was working with him, I though for a moment about what had happened. This mother didn't need the tongue lashing that I wanted to give her. She needed a hug. At that moment she might have been feeling alone in this Journey and need someone to talk to. I know that there are times in a room full of people I too feel alone. Her son might have had a transition tantrum before hand and it took every ounce of her to calm him down or maybe she just needed to vent.

The nice thing about his therapy sessions is that all the kids have therapy at the same time each day of the week. So mom I meet last Monday, I'll be there again next week if you need to talk.

A week of first

Wow this week has been crazy busy. We had Dylan's first week of intensive therapy at C.H.I.P.S. I was happily surprised that there was very few melt downs, for Dylan doesn't take changes in his day very well. This is also the first week Dylan has showed any affection toward anyone but me and the first time he snuggled up to he's Daddy and fell asleep ( I wish I took a picture but my camera wasn't charged)

In the short time we have been going to playgroup therapy, Dylan is making fast progress. He is starting to mimic words, imagination play, and he's starting to get a little better in group. He is still walking away for groups of three or more. This is an improvement however from him walking away as soon as someone would join him at a play table.

This week was also Dylan's first long trip to the Library. He did better than I though he would. However, I must say sorry for anyone at Way Public Library who was there Monday for the melt downs and the screams. He did enjoy sitting on my lap and reading. However, I learned that Mommy's are not allowed to study as Dylan decided to sit on my book.

Right now I'm sitting in a warm house and wishing that I could take Dylan to the park. This is his favorite thing to do when it's warm out. I learned fast that Dylan hates the feel of cold. He will not touch snow and he hates going out when it's snowing outside. He screams when snowflakes touch his skin.

This little boy is amazing me everyday. Like I always say Dylan has Autism, Autism doesn't have him.

My Little Monkey!!

I never thought I'd be that Mom, the Mom that stays up till 12am because her little one won't sleep. Well, here I am it's 12:14am and my Little Monkey wants to play. I for one want to sleep. I hear him in his bed crying because he wants out and I'm trying not to give in.

Already so young he knows how to melt my heart. I'll walk in there and he'll look up at me with those baby blues as to say "Please Mommy, if you love me you'll pick me up." How can you not give in. Even in his mute little ways we have our own language.

I mean look at those eyes and tell me you can say no.